Jody (origen) wrote,
  • Mood: cranky
  • Music: Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Like a Diamond

????

I had an interesting conversation Friday. We had our "sexual boundaries" workshop--the first of 2 four hour sessions before we can do fieldwork. Anyway, we were supposed to think of instances where our boundaries were crossed and we felt betrayed, angry etc. . . Well, I told the story of how one of my first serious girl friends had neglected to tell me--had hidden the information--that she had had a child. Now, what interested me was one of the questions I got in response to my story. . . they actually asked me if I felt betrayed because she had the child or because she hadn't told me. . .because she hadn't told me of course. . .I didn't care that she'd had a kid, and from the background I found out it wasn't a pretty situation anyhow. In fact, I respected her for having the baby instead of having an abortion. ..I didn't appreciate being lied to or used as a crutch. I think this was an illustration of different ages. .. granted, I would be considered "conservative" by most people, but it really never entered my mind to not date someone because they had a child. As a matter of fact, many of the mothers I've met have learned from their past and, as I alluded to earlier, having the child actually testifies to their morality. Which would you prefer, a young unwed mother who cares for her child or an overgrown juvenile who had an abortion rather than face reality? Just a thought.
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